On Book Advances (Jun 25, 2008 07:37)
by Gary A. Braunbeck Many dim moons ago, when Reagan had just taken possession of the White House an..
A Brief Guide to the Money Fairies (Jan 25, 2008 17:17)
This month, I'll venture into the realm of cryptozoology and discuss entities that most people have ..
How To Tell If A Woman Is Good-Looking (Jan 6, 2008 20:37)
Welcome, new arrival to Planet Earth! We understand that you are seeking attractive Earth females fo..
The Horror of the Used Bookstore (Feb 27, 2006 12:23)
by Gary A. Braunbeck There's a dark side writing that few people have dared address. I'm talking abo..
How to bless beer (Jan 5, 2006 18:46)
Contrary to what you might believe, the Catholic Church doesn't mind you drinking beer, particularly..
Runnin' With A Pencil (Dec 15, 2005 16:46)
David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen step onstage, both wearing Angus Young's cast-off schoolboy unifo..
Aardvark (Oct 27, 2005 16:04)
"It starts with an 'A' Aardvark! Aardvark! And ends with a 'K', Aardvark! Aardvark!" The song's supp..
Dead Armadillo Wrasslin' (Oct 3, 2005 17:54)
Long, long ago in a land far, far away, I happened to be a biology major taking an ecology class. An..
The Skunk Incident (Sep 26, 2005 18:43)
During my senior year of college, a friend of mine took a mammalogy class. His professor offered the..
The three kinds of nice guys (Sep 15, 2005 16:10)
Well, the first variety of mice guy fancies mice as pets. Often he enjoys their silky fur or the fee..
How to write fantasy that will absolutely slay the editors (Sep 6, 2005 13:56)
Magazine and book editors are cruel oppressors who delight in rejecting and demeaning True Art. In s..
The Lord of the Rings IV: Stop or my Gollum will Shoot! (Jul 7, 2005 13:32)
A script fragment found in Woody Allen's trash bin, nestled wetly between some apple cores and the r..
The Pussification of the American Cat (Jun 15, 2005 13:05)
Introduction: Last week, I was involved in beta-testing a new device called DIFID (Digital Feline In..
Guest Feature: The Newly Discovered Erotic Works of H. P. Lovecraft (Jun 13, 2005 14:09)
by Toasterleavings Possibly the single most disturbing aspect of the collected works of H. P. Lovecr..
Guest Feature: Arguments for the Perceived Impending Invasion of Earth by Atomic-Powered Killbots from Planet X (May 30, 2005 11:57)
by Scott Slemmons Or: Find Our Robotic Masters In recent years there have been many criticisms of b..
Shaving tips for vampires (May 20, 2005 16:22)
"I hate 'em when they ain't shaved." -- Severen in Near Dark Shaving is very important to the sophi..
Why I can't stay out of my husband's pants (May 19, 2005 18:21)
I remember the first time I got into my husband's pants. That morning, all my work-suitable pants ha..
How To Get A Goth Out Of A Tree (May 13, 2005 14:20)
Teddy was up on a low limb of the oak, clinging to the trunk and sobbing in terror. His thin body tr..
I need a new drug: Marmocet (Apr 14, 2005 11:28)
I was thinking the other day about the naming of drugs, specifically acetaminophen-containing opiate..
U.S. Court Rulings on Parody in Advertising (Feb 20, 2001 18:43)
Ever since the case of Virginia State Board of Pharmacy v. Virginia Citizens Consumer Council, adver..